Document storage is a no brainer. It frees up space in your workplace, saves on storage costs and gives your business breathing room so it can grow in other areas. But what’s the best approach to document storage and how have you chosen to do it? Here some of the sillier ideas we’ve come across for storing documents and the savvy solutions we recommended instead.

Shipping it to Antarctica

Have you noticed how much space Antarctica takes up on a globe? Imagine how many secure warehouses you could put there. We know; the mind boggles. It’s only a matter of time before document storage companies make a move on the icy continent and recruit sea lions as alternative guard dogs. Protecting documents from the frost may prove tricky though, as would retrieving the documents at speed.

Secure, super-fast retrieval

We might not have figured out frozen tundra storage yet, but we do have sites that are protected and restricted access. So they’re probably even tougher than an ice shelf for data thieves to get at. The other advantage is that we can retrieve and deliver archived documents to you within a matter of hours. It might not be like having a vault in Antarctica, but it is like having your own secure compound just down the road, with easy access for you and no one else.

Recruiting Sherlock Holmes

The guy remembers everything. He’s uses that Mind Palace thing and could probably store all the world’s sensitive data inside his head. We’ve been trying to recruit him as a consultant for a while. Unfortunately, we can’t seem to get hold of him. Of course, there’s a rumour going around that he’s not actually real… but he’s faked his own death before, so he’s probably just as capable of faking his non-existence.   

Advanced barcode tracking

In the absence of the famous detective, we’ve still got a savvy way to keep tabs on everything we’re storing. Our advanced barcode tracking system logs everything within our auditable document management system, ensuring your documents are effortlessly tracked and traced. It’s our very own Mind Palace.

Shrink rays

Zapping everything till it fits into a small desk drawer would be wonderful. But we can’t seem to find a shrink ray that works. Of course, we’d also need a growth ray that could zap documents back to their original size, or else we’d have to supply our clients with complementary microscopes. Perhaps we haven’t thought this one through.

Other ways to make it micro

“Honey, I Shrunk the Documents to a Manageable Size,” might not make for the most exciting Hollywood title, but it can still bring you joy. Converting documents to microfiche or microfilm can create secure back-ups of critical information that are guaranteed to last for 500 years (unless you want us to destroy them for you). We can take care of the micro conversions in addition to or instead of storing the original hard-copy records.

Unless of course, you are ready to fully embrace…

Going digital

Everything’s going digital these days (except a few things like gardens and teeth). It’s not just a trend to follow aimlessly, it is a secure and efficient way to store sensitive data. We have a scan on demand retrieval service that can return documents to you electronically within two hours, should you need them.

Essentially, our savvy solutions (if we do say so ourselves) stop you from worrying or wasting time on document storage and retrieval, which means you get to focus on your business instead. Which is the way things should be. If you’d like to find out more about how we can help you thrive, or you’ve managed to locate Sherlock Holmes, don’t hesitate to get in touch.

Office too cluttered? Bored of filing cabinets? Cloud storage too mainstream? Fear not. Out of our limitless ingenuity we have drawn up these alternatives to the tired status quo.

Abstraction

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, right? We don’t think businesses have truly considered how painters could streamline operations. If you were to hire a renowned artist (or perhaps a fine art undergraduate) they could translate all your long-form documents into an abstract image or two. A blue circle in the centre of a white canvas, for instance, could say everything that needs to be said about last year’s employee records. Of course, you would also need to hire art critics who could accurately interpret the abstract images. You might need to make some room for error, but at least you won’t need to make room for wordy documents.

Bury it all

Whenever pirates needed to store important or sensitive information, they found a distant island – possibly inhabited by cannibals – and dug a large hole. We think there’s valuable lessons to be learned from such an approach.

Even if hackers were to get their paws on the maps that marked the treasure, they would have to sail through dangerous high winds, fend off sea monsters and escape the clutches of Long John Silver. Businesses considering this storage option will need to settle on an alternative method for storing the treasure maps themselves. If you bury those too, your documents may be lost for a few generations.

Put in under the mattress

No one would ever think to search under a mattress would they? This unprecedented and highly original idea would require you to divide your documents between trusted employees, who would stash the sensitive material under their snoozing place. Documents stored in this way are reported to be better rested and no longer demand as much coffee in the mornings.

Hand your files to Julien Assange

Sounds counter-productive possibly. But if you accept the pessimistic belief that privacy is a thing of the past and the government is watching you through your phone camera anyway, you might as well store your documents where everyone can see it. Just pass all data to your least favourite whistleblower and let them store everything on the internet for you. Benefits include: short-term saving on time and funds. Downsides include: potential breach of law, possible company collapse.

Use TARDIS technology

Don’t waste space by sticking to a mere four dimensions. The Doctor has already shown us that we can conceal an entire space ship in blue phone box, so doing the same with our documents should be as easy as fending off another wave of daleks. When your desk can hold a warehouse of material in its drawers, storage will never be a problem again. As long as your desk doesn’t travel freely through time and space.

Deep freeze

If you don’t think you’re going to use your documents anytime soon, you could consider freezing them for the future. It’s a good option if you’re reluctant to destroy data in case it comes in use in a few centuries time. Then your children’s children’s children’s children’s children’s children’s children will be able to read your 2018 refund policy and allow its legacy to continue.

Use a professional

Ok, so maybe not an unusual solution. But an unusually good one! If you pick the right team, of course. Seriously, there are no magic formulas here, no matter what Marie Kondo says. If you need stuff stored – and you need it stored securely, in a climate controlled environment that is alarmed and monitored 24-7 – then you need to give us a call. We’re really very nice and we’ll even provide boxes and come pick everything up for you.

If you’d like to discuss your document storage needs, get in touch with us today.

Paper versus digital. To be honest, we’re fans of all sorts of documents so it’s really very hard to pick a favourite. You may as well be asking us to choose a favourite child. How can you compare the tactile experience of holding the printed page with the ease and convenience of a screen based reading experience?

Actually, you probably can – if you contextualise the choice. Here’s a bit of an exploration of when hard copy files trump digital ones and vice versa.

Space saving ability

This one is kind of a no brainer. If you have lots of space and you don’t mind what you fill it with, by all means collect that paper documentation. But if, on the other hand, space is at a premium – and let’s face it, we live on a fairly size challenged island where land isn’t exactly budget-friendly – then you probably can’t afford to have more paper hanging around than is absolutely necessary. When it comes to space saving, digital files are a winner every time.

Access on the move

Remember when you could buy the internet and keep it on a shelf? Yes, the good old Encyclopedia Britannica was the ultimate in looking stuff up in the mid-90s. But not quite so convenient for travelling about. If you work from multiple locations or spend a lot of time on trains, for example, then you probably don’t want to lug endless reams of paper around with you. It’s not good for your back for a start. In this case we’d opt for digital files and whatever device you prefer to access them on.

Legal requirements

There are times when we have choices and times when we don’t. One of the times we don’t is when we have to go by what the law says. And sometimes the law says stuff about the kinds of documents we need. For example, businesses are legally obliged to keep COSHH records for 40 years. Which means that, while you may decide you want to scan these for day-to-day use, you’ll also need to store the originals – either in-house or off site – in case the HSE asks to see them.

Ease on the eyes

You know how your eyes start to get kind of weird and sticky and a bit sore when you’ve been staring at a screen for too long? That doesn’t seem to happen when you’re reading off actual physical paper. At least not as quickly. Although there’s no proper science-backed reason why reading should be nicer or easier or more comfortable IRL (that’s In Real Life kids, keep up) it just is. OK? At least that’s our experience. So for extended reading we’re choosing paper.

Freedom from wifi

The thing about technology is that it’s great until it doesn’t work. Like the moment your internet goes down or you travel to some remote corner of the country where 3G is worshipped like a deity and 4G is just a legend. That’s when you wish you had a good old fashioned piece of paper in your hand that you could read. If internet access is likely to be an issue then we’d go with paper as our favourite.

So you see? It may not be a simple case of one being better than the other but there are definitely factors that will help you decide whether hard copy or digital files are better for your needs.

Whatever the case, if we can be of assistance – whether that be by storing your documents so they don’t clutter up your offices or scanning them and helping you create a digital archive – do let us know.

So the clocks have changed, we’re almost at the end of a tax year and a new month is just kicking off. Perfect time to announce a range of new services* we’re launching to take Scan Film or Store into the future in style.

Digital to biological uploads

You already know that we offer document scanning services to help transform your paper archives in digital ones. But that doesn’t really help you get the information on those files into your head, does it? Which is why we’re now going one step further. Not only will we scan your documents but we will upload the resulting JPG, PDF or TIF files directly into your brain via the latest biological upload technology so you have all the information available without having to read it.

Memory destruction services

We don’t like to brag but we’re pretty good at destroying data. We do next level document destruction (cross shredding and pulping so there’s no going back), we degauss hard drives, we incinerate microfiche and microfilm, and we shred CDs and DVDs. Now we’re adding another service to the list – memory destruction. Whether it’s a song you can’t get out of your head, an embarrassing incident at the office Christmas do or that time you walked in on your mother-in-law on the loo, we’ll extract the data from your mind and erase it entirely so no one, not even you, can access it again.

Child storage facilities

Parents, this one is for you. For those moments where you feel like you’re one step away from breaking point. When you just can’t handle one more demand for CBeebies or Peppa Pig, one more felt tip mark on the dining room table, one more temper tantrum over the sandwiches being cut into the wrong shapes. Introducing our new child storage facilities. Our purpose built warehouse is alarmed and monitored 24-7 and climate controlled to ensure your children aren’t damaged. We can even barcode them so they’re easy to find when (if?) you decide you want them back.

Holographic archives

The move from paper to paperless is going well. Now we’re pushing the boundaries of screenless technology. Rather than accessing your digital files via a monitor, we can create holographic files that you’ll be able to project onto walls or even into thin air. Ideal for presentations, team meetings, very small offices and sci-fi nerds.

Translation scanning services

Scanners have become so intelligent in recent years. We’ve just bought the Babel Scan-Tran E260 which has built in translation software that will auto-translate your documents as they scan. The software will arrange the resulting files in a digital archive that includes both the original language and any translated versions, cross indexed with multi-lingual OCR technology so you can always find what you’re looking for, even if you don’t speak the language.

If you’re interested in any of these services – or our slightly more boring but equally useful old ones, including document storage, document scanning, secure data destruction etc – then get in touch with the team today.

*PS In case the title hadn’t given it away, this post has been an elaborate and cleverly constructed April Fool’s Day ruse. We wouldn’t really suggest you stick your kids in a warehouse, now would we? Duh.